How Does She Do It?

Many people ask me how I handle family cases on a daily basis and am still sane enough to label it as one of my specialisations.

Here is the secret to my sanity.

Naturally, what I do is fraught with emotions, from start to finish. There is not a single case that I have dealt with that does not have an element of emotions involved. Learning how to deal with these "third-party emotions" is part of the tricks of our trade. Some attorneys do it well, others do not. Even Judges have been known to "descend into the arena" from time to time! It is not only third-party emotions that we need to manage; we also have emotional triggers within ourselves that find themselves erupting at inopportune or unnecessary times.

But is it not true that every occupation has a certain element of emotion? How people react to stress, for example, exhibits emotions that other people are often tasked with managing. So how do they do it?

I believe that the key to handling emotions (from all sources) lies in the motivation we have to be in the position in the first place. We do not ask for the emotions yet they come to us. Why? It all comes down to passion. Passionate people are able to discern necessary emotions from unhealthy ones. Passion is not limited to the workplace. It is also present in personal lives. Passionate people are also able to detach from other people's dramas.

Passionate people can express healthy scales of emotions themselves - with 'healthy' meaning the optimum amount, not only positive emotions! This means that passionate people know intuitively when they need to engage with third-party emotions and when they need to themselves express healthy emotions.


That is not to say that passionate people are immune to emotions - the human element in "people" is only natural and will creep up! Passionate people may sometimes come across as stern emotionless pits but in fact they are simply making an intuitive judgment on how they believe it is best for them to approach what is in front of them. For example, how much sense will it be to engage in a heated argument with a person who is themselves acting hysterically? Fighting fire with fire serves not purpose.

This is where I come in.

Initially, I was a wobbly wombat when it came to emotions in the workplace. However, I became increasingly aware of the need for me to place myself on the fence. As I became accustomed to sitting on the fence, I started to know how I could take this approach further to the benefit of the people I was helping.

But how do I deal with the emotions?

I accept that emotions are present. I acknowledge how this person is feeling. I place myself in their shoes so as to be able to gain a better understanding of their position. After I have done this, I simply respond with an authentic expression of who I am. There is no better way for me to say this. I do not ignore their emotions. I ask myself how much emotional engagement is required of me and then I go with it.

Whether I am acting for a divorcee spouse, or a child in need of care and protection, I adopt the same approach. It allows me to remain level-headed, focused, determined, and ambitious in every case that I handle. Maintaining my passion for what I do, and my self-confidence, allows me to find the actual interest that needs to be pursued or protected. This approach allows me to be succinct and practical as well, and I find that I am able to develop better relationships with the people that I am assisting.

I hope that you, the reader, benefited from reading the article as much as (if not more) than I benefited simply by putting it together and sharing it with you.

With love and light

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